I feel lonely a lot. I was the famous guy in school. Walked my way in the 11th standard. Never expected to get the kind of attention i actually did. I was quite the introvert looking for no trouble. In fact I’d do just about anything not to get into one. During high school I thought I understood the world better than the others.
Then college happened…………
I went on to study in one of the best colleges in the country. Got out of all the attention. I was very confident about myself. I thought I’m going to excel in everything I do. I thought i has no competition since i was the competition. Very soon as college began i understood my place more precisely. Slowly and steadily I got left behind. I learnt one of the most important lessons very late that someone or the other will always be better than you. I did not receive the acceptance or the attention i thought I deserved. I thought others aren’t worthy of my friendship and surprising they thought the same. Time went on and so did life. In the beginning it didn’t hit me so hard, but I realized later that i was beginning to feel alone. I thought I’m wasting my time. Friends who were supposed to be there at my marriage reduced to strangers. Close friends couldn’t find the time to call. It’s not their fault, even I never made the effort to. It was only when i was upset that the realization deemed on me that I was alone. No one i could open upto. No one I could tell my feelings about. No one who would like to hear me succeed. No one who wouldn’t judge me for what I’ve done. No one for sharing my fantasies .
I thought as if I was sinking into my own feelings. I had no control over my emotions. No matter how much I told myself,
“I’m not alone. This is just a phase. It happens to everyone. I’m lucky enough to still have my parents.”
I has understood life wrong. Home and school is a very protected environment. We all have friends, the kind we overlook, the kind we take for granted, the kind we think aren’t good enough for us, the kind we think look ugly. No person should be judged by how they look or how they behave. Beauty lies within. We have to face our problems alone in life. Life is gruesome, life is cruel, it will try to crush you. It will trouble you and annoy you until you’re on the brink of giving up. Right then, will the magic happen.
What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger?
Yes it does
You’re as alone as such as you want to be. In the time of need there will be one person who’ll rise for you. One person you thought you’ll never be friends with. One person who you thought wasn’t capable enough. It’s then that life will take you by a surprise and pull you out of the marsh.
It’s then you’ll realize that you were never alone…….
……..you just didn’t know until now..