The Undershadow

Today I am going to tell you something very beautiful. A relationship not chosen by me, but a relationship given to me. A bond that cannot be replaced, a bond that cannot be replicated.

A brother.

I’m the younger one. My family is a set of four. Small little like a soap pack. A highly dysfunctional lot. Making me curse my own existence on half the days. Not a very a very patient lot.

But…………….

..They’re all I’ve had. They remind me that the world still has good people left. They make me feel that unconditional love does exist. They make me realize that everything is not wrong. They are my light at the end of the tunnel. They are my family.

So I have an elder brother. Our age gap around 7 years. This age was always like a big wall. My brother who I wanted to be my best friend turned out to be my father. A blessing in disguise, most definitely yes. He was always Mum’s favorite. Dad was always proud. Why shouldn’t they be? The hell even I was. The sport star of his school and the dancer of all the parties. Can’t say I never envied who he was and what he did. It always felt like a competition. The hell, we were two young boys, why wouldn’t we compete? In fact that’s all we knew.

Always a messy equation. We shouted we fought physically. But we did one thing right. We understood. We didn’t really need to talk. One look would suffice. Something I’ve not had from anyone.

People always liked him more. He was the OG starboy. People knew me by his name. I was always introduced his brother. I failed to see it then. What I was thought to be an embarrassment was in fact the greatest advantage I’ve had. I always felt that I was being shadowed. I felt as if I got always the lesser of things. I felt alone and distant at times. I felt that my parents with unfair with me.

Then? Then i grew up.

A real funny thing. I found my idol in my own house. I had my benchmark. I had my guiding principle. I had my mark that i needed to beat and guess what? My brother was there to help me beat it. With money, with love and with patience. Unconditionally. He was there and moreover he was ready.

I’m still in college. I’m not saying I have surpassed him. I’m not even close but I know that I’m going to shoot for the starts. Losing is not an option and failure is unacceptable.

I’m going to commit to my goals. I’m gonna make em proud :’). For him.

Sooner or later but it’s going to happen.

 

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